Translating jesus [My De-Conversion]

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One day for some unknown reason I just started to TRANSLATE what was being said. The church leader needed to make up the numbers and was in full force selling jesus. As I listened it just  started to get more and more absurd. This is my “Translation” of a conversation made to a new ambitious young recruit that changed my life forever.

CHURCHMAN: Hi, I would like to tell you about jesus,

YOUNG RECRUIT: Uh, okay,

CM: Well, jesus is amazing, he is 2000 years old. jesus did all sorts of unbelievable feats and he’s going to return very soon on a white horse!

YR; Wow, thats incredible, he sounds like an amazing man.

CM; No, he’s not a man, he’s god. He is the one true god but he is also his son and so they created the trinity to make it all clear. We have god the father, the holy ghost and his son jesus who is himself but not himself but who is his dad but not at the level of god his dad who is the one true god who is not polytheistic but singular and all encompassing in all aspects who is the Jewish polytheistic god of war.

YR; Wow, yes, that really makes sense,

CM; Certainly it does, and in order to save mankind he created his mother Mary and then impregnated her without sex and gave birth to himself!

YR; Mind blowing stuff!

CM; And guess what,

YR; What?

CM; It wan’t incest. No siree, It was simply miraculous, thats all, a miracle of jesus and his dad god who isn’t the holy spirit but employed the seed of the holy spirit for his son who planned it but who wasn’t born at the time.

YR;  That”s truly miraculous!

CM; Yes, you’ve got to hand it to jesus brother!

YR; Amen, there! So jesus really cares for us?

CM; Oh, yes, jesus is so loving and he really wanted to help the people and to show that love so he made a big fire that’s eternal. And in order to love his neighbour as himself and turn the other cheek he’s going to throw all those that won’t listen to him in it to burn forever!

YR; Wow, he must be a really loving guy,

CM; Remember, he’s the alpha and omega, he is all that is, that was, that could be, but not all that won’t be, or isn’t or might be or might not be. He is the word, the logos, the omega the beginning, the end and some parts in the middle too.

YR; Yeah, jesus sounds really cool,

CM; jesus is super cool, but, jesus doesn’t approve of sex though. He was a virgin all his life.

YR; But wasn’t he lonely?

CM; Never! He had an underage boyfriend his beloved disciple called john. But guess what,

YR: What?

CM; He wasn’t gay or a phaedophile!

YR; Wow. This jesus must be extraordinary.

CM: Yeah, nothing is impossible to jesus.

YR; Tell me more

CM:  jesus died to save the mankind and overcome the world that he didn’t need to overcome as he is not in the world and was non existent at the time of his dad’s creation, although he created it himself.

YR; Awesome! This is all so mysterious.

CM; Praise the lord yes. Even god is sometimes mystified by his moves from his mysterious ways.

YR; Tell me more about jesus.

CM; Well, his trusted friend judas sold him out. But, judas paid the price in the end by hanging himself as he didn’t because he fell over a cliff.

YR; How do you know this?

CM; God left us a book called the bible, It is the inerrant word and every word is  the perfect word of  god. Not a single word can be changed. We use the King James version as it is the best translation from Hebrew into Aramaic into greek into French into English.

YR; Yeah, the evidence is all there I suppose?

CM; Oh, definitely. Anyway, to cut a long story short, jesus then came back from the dead. And had saved the world. And now the only way back to god his dad who is him but not him is through jesus.

YR. Wow, you have overwhelming evidence there I think.

CM; The evidence is all there in the bible providing you don’t read it.

YR; But why did jesus need to save mankind in the first place?

CM; Well, his dad created the world with a perfect plan that cannot be changed by giving man free will. Man then disobeyed god by using his free will that was written in the plan that god created so that man would disobey god and hence god could then destroy man and then redeem him. Actually it was women who made man fall by listening to a talking snake. So the blame is really on women.

YR; I see, yes that makes perfect sense, But I like women and I love my mum,

CM; Yeah, it’s just that in this religion we have nothing against women, but, it is just that we see them as secondary or even less and many of us are insecure misogynistic, bigoted, ignorant, male chauvinist pigs. But, remember that jesus loved women so much that he let them bend down on their knees and wash his feet.

YR; Praise to jesus, he is just so awesome! What happened next?

CM; god wiped out the human race in a flood that he copied and pasted from Gilgamesh. But that wasn’t enough so he later got King Herod to kill all the new born babies who couldn’t understand or fight back to have their throats cut and be murdered so that his son jesus could be born. Of course this was an act of love and not cowardice.

YR; Wow, this god truly is love,

CM; Yes, god is only love and jesus is so loving and that’s why jesus preached peace and came to bring sword and divide father from son and mother from daughter.

YR; And what happens to mankind when jesus comes out of the clouds on his white horse?

CM; Well,  jesus will take all those that love him back to his dad’s place called heaven, and then let everyone else on the planet die in a horrible, brutal, bloody, terrifying cesspit!

YR; Nobody is a loving as jesus!

DECONVERSION:

Well there it is. I just couldn’t help but TRANSLATE what was actually being said!. I thought to myself, why I am I thinking and hearing it all like this, this hasn’t happened before. In desperation I consulted the bible, but it got worse and worse and it all kept falling apart layer after layer. god was silent or out to lunch and jesus had just become a new testament contradictory joke!

Difficult as it was there was simply no going back.. But what bothered me the most was this. Do the people who sell this stuff and who have read and studied the bible, the birth narratives, the crucifixion accounts really believe this stuff? I mean, they have spent years analysing and justifying the contractions and nonsensical non-sense that is the bible. The trinity, the jesus accounts, the contradictions, the history. I mean jesus isn’t even mentioned in history,[ only twice by Josephesus]. Surely there would be volumes written about him!

Anyway, that’s my deconversion. Simple, just TRANSLATE what is actually being said and then read the bible et al and it will all dissolve. It is all a very childish, immature infantile and silly affair, that is a mockery unto itself.

 

Anne R Keye 2014

 

 

 

 

 

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jesus is a human construct

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Whoever told you that jesus was the prince of peace was out to lunch, So think again, or better still read.

Let us look at this insane human construct in action,

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

-Luke 12:51-53

also [“Sword and struggle”]

That means to DIVIDE people, and that’s people that I am sure you love and care for dearly, like your mother and father and your children.

Okay, I will deliver you one more for emphasis,

LUKE 21.47

“The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows”.

Once again It’s the usual suspects dear christian friend. Read your bible from beginning to end. Because it is always as I inform you. You are affected by this and it is you who will have to reason and justify what you cannot ever reason and justify.

Morality in this instance has been abolished by the sneaky construct. And hence credence given to this by any sane moral individual reveals an unstable mindset. You will be less than human and an immoral deviant should you remain in ignorance. In this case it is not bliss at all, but damaging and self revealing. Morality is the watchword here my dear friends,

Ignorance or morality? The choice is in your hands, hearts and minds.

Love to you all

Anne R Keye 2014

 

Jesus is a very evil concept

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Jesus is the antithesis of love and compassion. And intellectually dumb in the bargain. Now this could be people following the same christian religion but a different denomination from the different denomination/church around the corner. It is curiously funny but also disturbingly tragic.

The human construct in action,

But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me. — Luke 19:27 

Yep, that says “SLAY THEM BEFORE ME”.  Slay= kill   or Kill brutally without thought!

That means MURDER, KILL, UNJUST VIOLENCE, COWARDICE, HATE, Need I go on any further?

What sort of prince of peace is this monstrosity? I ask you? Please try to answer, because you will need to justify this if you are to be claiming faith. How can any moral and decent person follow this evil? You, yes that’s you dear christian reader have to JUSTIFY this, because it affects you.

What kind of person follows this? I hear christians complain about the Koran. Well, I suggest that you read your own book properly from beginning to end, otherwise you won’t have a clue what it is that you are supposed to be following and believing in. This will kill what you are believing to be your morality. Your morality will sink like a stone, and believe me you will be toiling and spinning. So educate yourself dear friend, for your own good.

I hope this helps you. All my love dear christian reader.

Anna R Keye.

2014

Why are christians so unhappy?

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Christians love to display how happy they are in their religion. But, below the surface lies a very different picture bathed in worry, fear and rejection.

God won’t help or answer prayers. They feel so alone. When they walk out of the church and back into real life suddenly jesus is gone and so is the warming community that comforted them. Outside life is very different. Reality bites.

I know this through personal experience and going behind the closed door into the real world of unhappy believers. I was actually quite happy, but those around me kept their pain in silence. But when they felt trust out it would all come. Their uncertainties, their search for justification of theirs and others misfortunes. It was a world away from their smiling countenances displayed in public. It was amazing how much people questioned it all on a daily basis. How could this all be they would ask?

I kept silent. Schtm! What could I say, because I was in the same boat albeit a very happy and healthy boat.

I still meet a few of them and they are still repeating the same act. Smiling and pretending, But underneath lies a very fragile person

Love to you all. I hope you all come clean and improve your lives,

Anne R Keye 2014

 

 

 

CREDENCE TO CRETINS?…Give pity only

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A vicar walks into the room. Rational people suddenly display very strange body language and mannerisms. “Oh your reverence”, “Oh reverent”, “O, servant of god”.

A yawning bloke in the corner of the room looks over at the vicar and  and says “Oi!, ‘Arry, you want a beer”?

The shocked gathering of people look at each other in bewilderment.

A very upright elderly lady informs the bloke “Excuse me but you can’t talk to him like that you know, he’s the Reverend”

But the bloke just laughs his ass off, [But, he also realises that he has to make an accurate correction here], “Nah, e’s “Arry” and points to the vicar  “Now, what you ‘avin A’rry, a pint of the best”?

Harold the vicar looks over at the bloke and displays a very depressed countenance.

“Please” says the elderly lady “You must show respect for the right honourable vicar”‘

The bloke says, “Nah, I ai’nt ‘avin that e’s A’rry and will always be A’rry. That’s just  silly clobber [outfit] and a silly belief ‘ee picked up form ‘is old boyfriend Reg”

The vicars head dropped like a sack of rotting potatoes and the old lady started having a funny turn.

Bloke, “Well that’s cleared that up then, Now for the last time, What you ‘avin ‘array”?

DON’T GIVE CREDENCE TO CRETINS. Give pity.

When someone says “Oh that’s so offensive”, or “It offends my religion”, or “You can’t say that, it is so offensive to my beliefs” or “you can’t say that against him because he is the church leader” etc.

These are people PRETENDING. They are pretending to know something that they don’t know and CANNOT know. These are people who talk to themselves and pretend that when they speak back to themselves that it is some how somebody else. This is called schizophrenia! The recipient is Psychopathic! A split personality. A dual process.

These people aren’t nuts, but very lost and infantile.  Don’t be nasty or hateful in any way to them because you will only upset them. They are delicate and their egos will deflate at a rate of knots. Show them love and understanding but never never never give credence to silliness, only pity.

Love to you all

Anne R Keye 2014

Do you really believe? [Part 1]

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Do you really believe dear christian reader?

Do you live by your commandments?

Well, to be blunt, I don’t think you do.

How many of you have read the bible from beginning to end? If the answer is no, then you have some serious thinking to do. Why haven’t you read it? Why? There has to be a reason. Moses commanded Sloth as unacceptable via Yahew didn’t he? Yet here you are dear reader in slothful ignorance of your own belief. I mean what is your belief if you haven’t read the bible in order to know what your belief actually is?

I don’t mean to be unfriendly or wretched to you, but you must contemplate and ask yourselves why this is. Are you not a child of Yaweh. Then why reject his book and place your own selfish activities on his time?

Read your bible dear christian for all you are worth. Read it from cover to cover. Question, Ask. Contemplate. Read about Lot and his daughters. Read about Pharaoh. Read the Birth narratives. Educate yourselves on your own dear subject.

WHAT IF YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO READ YOUR BIBLE?

Well, Yaweh will be very angry and every atheist you meet will make you look like an uneducated monkey! Yep, they will spin your words and turn them and make you appear as folly of the lowest order! You will not be turning the other cheek for a while I can assure you.

Do you want that dear christian? I don’t think so. So make the effort and take the time out for Yaweh and your own well being and read the bible from cover to cover and justify it and yourself and your actions. This will really help you and make you much happier.

Love to you all

Anna R Keye 2014

The Christian Predicament

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I think this sums it up for every person who considers themselves to be christian,

“As I sat upon the stair I saw a man who WAS’NT there”

This is difficult. I suggest any serious christian to read Peter Boghossian’s book. It will really help you with this predicament. You will learn about critical thinking and moral reasoning. I think that you will be amazed and much happier.

Now, I will repeat the christian predicament dear reader,

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d go away
When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door
Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away!

Love to you all.

Ane R Keye 2014.